February 20, 2007

Friendship in turmoil

Since I have been thinking a lot about friendship lately, I came across a very interesting post today on the Sports Illustrated website:

The article talks about how the friendship betwen two great baseball players for Yankers, Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez. According to the article, the two used to be very close friends in the 1990s but their relationship deteriorated dramatically in the past few years because of the wins and losses on the field.

Rodriguez said in an interview today "I just found myself trying to say always the right things and trying not to screw up," he said,"And I think that came acrosss for some people as very disingenouous and phony perhaps -- those are the things you hear. If you're going to get chopped up into pieces, you might as well be as honest as you can and get ripped for it."

Basically Jeter was criticized by some last year for not voicing sufficient support for Rodriguez, who struggled at times during the regular season and was booed at Yankee Stadium. He said "The only thing I'm not going to do is tell the fans what to do. ... I don't think it's my job to tell fans to boo or not to boo."

I have some resonance with the story. As many of you know, I recently have sort of a melt-down with a colleague of mine at work. So, I can understand how Rodriguez when Jeter made such a comment. When you are in a difficult situation or going through a hard time, the last thing you need from your mates is to show any indifference. You want them to stand by your and support you throughout the ordeal. If you can't do that, don't claim to be someone's friend. You are just using your friend when you see the potential benefits. It's all true. The observation is well documented in the many social psychological theories including the social exchange theory.

So, what do I learn from this story? It's time to move on and be true to myself. I will no longer question myself and feel that I have not been a good friend to someone. I know I have done nothing wrong and I am ready to move forward.

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