February 27, 2007

I am THE extra in life.

Have you ever felt that you aren't getting the attention from the people around you?

Almost 10 years ago, when I visited my high school friend, Ron, at UPENN, he told me that the ultimate goal in people's life is to be recongized by someone. The person could be your family members, your friends, your significant other, your colleagues, or any one around you. Everyone want to be the main actor or actress in the spotlight. One of the most famous social psychologists, Erving Goffman, believes that life is just a drama. People have both front stage and back stage behavior. His in-depth analysis of human interactions render many significant obeservations and theories about how human interact with one another.

Recently, I have watched the British BBC comedy called The Extra. Each episode is about the life of an extra in a movie set with a famous Hollywood star. I think the show is very funny and provides much needed comical relief. Most importantly, it makes me think that no one wants to be an extra in life. However, many times, I feel like that I am not at the spotlight or getting the attention from my friends, families, or colleagues. That sensenation makes me feel that I am THE extra in my friend's life. I feel that I am never significant enough to make someone around me laugh, cry, weep, or angry. You know, it's genius that we use the term "significant other" to describe the people we love dearly in life. However, we never use the word "the extra" to describe the acquiantances that come across in our life. I think the reason is that "extra" has a slightly more elevated role than acquantiances in our life. Without extras, we would not be able to support or display the best part of us. The extras play an inevitable role in our day to day action while acquantiances are people who are dispensable.

Anyway, for a long time, I have been feeling that I am THE extra in everyone's life. Maybe that's the reason that I am not very excited or happy most of the time. If you think that I ain't the extra in your life, shoot me an email or post a comment.

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